Little Goals for Little Children
When I was in my very early 20's I had just learned about goal setting, proper, and was avidly reading anything and everything on the subject that I could lay my hands on. There were too many books to pick the top ten that made an impression, but the one that I am thinking of today was called "The Magic of Thinking Big" by David Schwartz.
As the title suggests, the author is encouraging us to aim "for the stars" - to think of and go for the biggest goals we can. Great! Many, many goal setting experts, writing for adults, urge us to aim as high as we dare - and then higher! - in our goal aspirations.
BUT I would like to offer a word of caution for parents when it comes to "Big Goals".
We could start by asking, what are our objectives when we sit down to teach children to set goals?
The achievement of the specific goals themselves is certainly one objective. But it's not the only reason. In fact, you might consider the point of view that the major objective is not the achievement of the specific goal itself, but rather the alignment of the child's mind with the PROCESS of goal setting and achievement.
The process is very simple, but it can and often does fall down in a number of ways.
What is this goal setting process that we are teaching our children? At its simplest, the process can be set out as follows:
SET A GOAL -> TAKE ACTION -> ACHIEVE A RESULT
Many, many adults, let alone children, fall in the TAKE ACTION bit of this process. The reasons are many and complex. But of the major, dominant reasons, one that holds back millions of people from achieving the life's goals is the lack of confidence in the final step.
If you don't believe that you'll achieve the result that you want, then it will be extremely hard for you to take action.
What does this mean when you are teaching a child goal setting? I suggest that it means that you should consider the possibility that your MAJOR FOCUS in all your goal setting activities with your child should be to take him, OVER AND OVER AND OVER, through the process: SET A GOAL -> TAKE ACTION -> ACHIEVE A RESULT...
...helping him get success after success after success under his belt. Using praise and confidence-building talk to reinforce in your child's mind, over and over and over "I can do it," "I'm successful," "I can achieve my goals."
Don't act surprised if your child achieves a goal - we want to get him to a point where he sets goals comfortably, confidently, ASSUMING that he will achieve the result that he wishes for.
That's why I say: "Little Goals for Little Children" - better for him to achieve 10 small goals, each time reaffirming to himself that he is an achiever, than one large one.
Monicka Gregory lives in Salmon Arm in Canada, where she writes a regular parenting column, "Kidz Zone", for the local paper. She is a successful parent of four great kids, and has a wealth of practical experience in teaching kids how to use success techniques.
Cassie Martin lives in Buckingham in the UK. She spent most of her childhood traveling, and out of school. After an isolated and difficult start, Cassie has a passion for helping children learn to be strong and resourceful.
Together Monicka and Cassie write and edit a parenting newsletter and website, www.kidsgoals.com, through which they love to communicate with parents and childcare specialists from all over the world. They regularly publish well-researched and practical articles, helping parents with information, suggestions and ideas on how to parent children positively.
